Noshing is colleges’ best practice (satire)

Community colleges will be accredited based on food, writes Jeffrey Ross in a Cronk of Higher Education satire. Colleges will be required to demonstrate how food fits into their “strategic visions, core values, mission statements, assessment plans, curricula and feedback loops.”

Research shows the importance of potlucks, said Dr. Tusk Manger, a reviewer and taste-tester for the Highbrow Learn-ed Commission.

. . . community college staff spend about 65 percent of their salaried work day preparing for potlucks, grazing, sharing recipes, emailing notifications about dessert needs at division meetings, chatting over hummus or quiche in the faculty lounge, planning bake sale fund raisers for partnering organizations and orchestrating classroom “cultural” studies which mandate at-risk eating activities. . . .  hard-core paper plate beanie-weenie concoctions and crockpot food–especially at division meeting potlucks–may represent a significantly overlooked part of every community college’s curricula. Eating is the best practice at all community colleges.

“Potluck” appears in 41 percent of all email subject headings at one community college in western Phoenix, according to a study by Dr. Jeffrey Roz, Hamilton State University, and Dr. Jann M Kontento, Copperfield Community College.

. . .  37 percent of all the benchmarking college emails contain some reference to pies, cheesecake, left-over mushroom pizza, bagels, garbanzo beans, COM 209 ethnic awareness potlucks, donuts in the dean’s office or “almost-gone” sliced summer sausage and cheese snacks remaining from a governing board meeting.

Ross and Jann Contento are the authors of College Leadership Crisis: The Phillip Dolly Affair, a comic novel about the fictional Copperfield Community College.


POSTED BY Joanne Jacobs ON November 16, 2012

Comments & Trackbacks (5) | Post a Comment

Don Qutep

This saterical piece is simply beautiful. The same things occur at my college daily. Food, snacks, parties, and potlucks are so very popular. I wonder, as the author does, what the true purpose of the community college culture of learning is.

Ted Thompson

I really found humor in this short spot. Thanks for sharing as part of the Spotlight. We all need a good laugh at the end of the week. :)

JB Bocker

I am quite familiar with community college doings. I have seen the administration direction at the college I work change to a corporate mode and I’m simply sick. Snacks and food is only one bit of the problem. I enjoyed this funny little observation and the use of potluck as a metaphor for many things. Thanks to your staff for publishing this on a Friday. My weekend will include some tasty snacks and football.

Terry Cabway, Th. D.

I would only suggest that potlucks are an essential part of the community building experience at our post secondary institutions. I am concerned that the author has crossed the line in this article– even if it is mean to be satire or funny or comic or whatever. While it is true that I receive many emails each day about left over pizza or dessert recipes or whatever, I also know potlucks help us to celebrate diversity and represent a significant multicultural activity. Long Live the Potluck!

Dr. Tracy China

I must tell you. I use the potluck weekly in my Comm 114 Ethnic Communications Course to show the importance of food as a cultural marker. Are you insinuating that professors use food in place of textbooks or other curricular materials?
My courses always have good enrollment, and I am an expert on vegan stew preparation.

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